My Cakey Breaky Car

Dreaming of the siren
Wishing for broken glass on the highway
It could be so easy

So.  That’s what a car accident is like.

I had an entirely different post that I intended to write for today.  I also have the post I meant to publish yesterday but as the cliché so often goes: life gets in the way.  This time it was the remarkably not amazing experience of being in a collision with another car that slammed into the driver side of my car.  Terrifying—absolutely but maybe not for the reasons you’d expect.  I’ll put a photo of the car behind the cut at the bottom of the post–hiding it so it doesn’t trigger anyone who might have some sort of accident PTSD.

All in all the experience has been surprisingly…pleasant?  I mean it sucks.  There’s the financial cost.  My car is out for three weeks.  My neck hurts.  My head hurts.  I was very narrowly crushed by a bus coming from the OTHER direction.   Another few inches and I’d probably have a broken leg.  Thankfully though I came out with all my limbs.  The other driver was a young guy who was also shaken up but relatively calm.  We even hugged!  He wants to go to my yoga studio—no really he saw my key fob and commented on how he’s been wanting to go to Funky Door to try it out.  I offered a free pass if he ever goes.  It was hilariously absurd in the moment but in a good way.  I think we both managed to show each other some respect and be supportive which kind of reaffirmed my faith in humanity in a huge way.  I mean this was a horrible day for both of us but instead of snarling and yelling at each other about who did what, it was more about making sure we both got where we needed to go.  I have also never been more thankful to be insured.

If you are driving and don’t have insurance you are an idiot.  Stop it.  Get your ass covered.  If for no other reason than it is unbelievably relieving to have a team of people who know what to do and who handle it for you when you are still shaking from an adrenaline rush.

So back to the actual terrifying part.  The crash I was in sucked but really all it did was dredge up memories of the two car crashes my immediate family have been in over the last few years.  Somehow I found myself freaking out more over those past accidents—especially the one my mom and brother were in—and those set me crying.  Several years ago my brother was injured pretty severely in an auto accident and it really was hard for me to handle.  I never even looked at photos of the car because I didn’t want to see it.  The hardware in my brother’s legs was enough for me thankyouverymuch.  In the years since I’ve had more scares with my brother for various reasons.

The hardest thing in this world for me to survive would be to lose my brother.  Nothing has ever or most likely will ever scare me as much as that.  People who are close to me will understand that this has made some events from the last few years really difficult.  It’s the one thing I’m not sure my (metaphorical) heart would ever be able to come back from.  Maybe when I’m 90 and he’s 83—women live longer and I eat better so yes D, I’m assuming I’m outliving you here—it would be different.  But nope he is not allowed to die until then.  I just…I don’t know if that’s a heartbreak that would ever be repairable.  It’s my Humpty Dumpty scenario.  I assumed that I’d be spending the next few days berating myself for the accident.  Should-woulda-coulda-ing the moments but really I just keep coming back to the fear of losing my family instead.

Aaaaand as with all stress in life—I bake!   Not feeling up to working on one of my own recipes instead I turned to a staple from Dorie Greenspan.  Simple, homey and oh so comforting the way only these kind of simple dutch cakes can be.  The smell in my kitchen was so relaxing.  Definitely make this cake on a bad rainy day if you ever need a pick me up.

Swedish Visiting Cake

(adapted from Baking, From My Home to Yours)

• 1 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
• Grated zest of 1 lemon
• 2 large eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• About 1/4 cup sliced almonds (blanched or not)

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter a seasoned 9-inch cast-iron skillet or other heavy ovenproof skillet, a 9-inch cake pan or even a pie pan.

Pour the sugar into a medium bowl.  Add the zest and blend the zest and sugar together with your fingertips until the sugar is moist and aromatic.  Whisk in the eggs one at a time until well blended.  Whisk in the salt and the extracts.  Switch to a rubber spatula and stir in the flour.  Finally, fold in the melted butter.

Scrape the batter into the pan and smooth the top with a rubber spatula.  Scatter the sliced almonds over the top and sprinkle with a little sugar.  If you’re using a cake or pie pan, place the pan on a baking sheet.

Bake the cake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until it is golden and a little crisp on the outside; the inside will remain moist.  Remove the pan from the oven and let the cake cool for 5 minutes, then run a thin knife around the sides and bottom of the cake to loosen it.  You can serve the cake warm or cooled, directly from the skillet or turned out onto a serving plate.