Java little bit of your love

So give a little bit

Give a little bit of your time to me

See the man with the lonely eyes

Take his hand, you’ll be surprised

I almost completely forgot that this Friday is going to be Valentine’s Day.  I had intended to see if someone wanted to go see a movie and then realized “Oh crap—the theatre is going to be packed” and proceeded to grumble about the holiday.  Mind you I was not grumbling about not having a date.  I’m not a Scrooge McLonelyheart; I just don’t like the price hikes at restaurants or the packed theatres.  I also don’t like that everything that isn’t coupley is aimed at cheering up singles.  It’s like we’re supposed to either be sad and mopey about it or off telling couples to fuck off because we’re bitter.  Can’t I just be happy for love, romantic or not, in all its forms?   Thankfully it seems that my current adult world is somewhat insulated from this.  I haven’t had much in the way of Valentine’s Day “in my face” since getting out of school.

But oh in those school days…especially K-12 years…Valentine’s Day was some sort of sick game of social hierarchy wasn’t it?  We always spent a whole day hand making those shoebox mailboxes for exchanging store-bought cards.  Kids with the handmade cards were always the worst.  I always had the cheaper cards since my mom was never big on the whole display.   I also seemed to pick out the not-cool card themes.  What you mean no one wants The Little Mermaid in fourth grade?  Oops.  The cool kids though, they’d have the most expensive cards with those hologram bits or whatever the current fad was.  Oh and they always made sure to have candy to go along with their cards—good candy too, not that crappy heart lollipop that always made the rounds.   If you had chocolate?  Ooooh baby your valentine was the talk of the town.

Cards bought?  Next came filling them out and the game of grade school social order.  Most classes instituted a policy that you had to give a valentine to everyone but oh that almost made it worse.  It was painfully obvious that when you got a little cheapie card, no candy and just a signature that you were of far less value than Bobby at the desk next to you who got an inside joke and a Hershey bar.  All this drama over a cartoon and bad pun is it any wonder that some adults DO grow up hating this holiday?

Not everyone has the same experiences with their primary education but for me?  4^th grade through 7^th was way to eerily similar to Mean Girls than it should have been.  Those years were hard at home too so I spent a lot of my time solo or bouncing around between groups of friends, never quite fitting in, never quite feeling like I belonged.   Lunchtime I’d sneak away to the library when I could and read in order to avoid the whole scene.  Funny I still do the same thing now as an adult at work…maybe I just have an aversion to cafeterias.  I came to associate lunch time with alone time so I get a little cranky when I have work meetings over the lunch hour.  Isolation becomes sort of a learned habit I guess.

A friend of mine is working with a non-profit called Beyond Differences that is working to help kids struggling with this sense of loneliness.  When I found out about it I was mildly verklempt because suicidal ideation and childhood is a real issue close to my heart.  I immediately spammed all the teachers I knew about an upcoming event called “No One Eats Alone” that is scheduled to occur on…Valentine’s Day.  Again I didn’t even think about the date until after the fact but what a wonderful idea.  If there’s any day for a kid in grade school to feel most separate from their peers, it’s probably February 14^th.  If you read my blog and teach, or have a kid in school, it’s not too late to get involved.  All the materials are free online.  Or if you don’t have the ability to put this on at a school this year, there are tons of other resources aimed at middle school kids needing a little more love, romantic or not, in their lives.  Hopefully not romantic since ya know, they are a little young for that still no?

My brother mind you, well he had little trouble at lunch time since he generously used his school lunch account to buy ice cream sandwiches for all of his friends.  Apparently an 8 year old really doesn’t understand the concept of credit.  Who knew?  But it’s not a bad strategy so for all my adult friends, here’s a grown up twist on a delicious ice cream sandwich.  Turn your home into a cafeteria this year and celebrate love of all kinds: romantic, platonic and sugared.   The ice cream recipe is mine but the cookies were adapted from another recipe I had—I played around with the fat content in order to make the cookies a little bit softer so they wouldn’t be quite as hard when frozen.  Once you have the cookies and the ice cream, just spread out as much ice cream as you desire between the layers and eat immediately or wrap well with wax paper and keep in the freezer!

Oatmeal Java Ice Cream Sandwiches

Cookies: adapted from Dorie Greenspan’s recipe for Chocolate Oatmeal Drops

• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• ½ cup cocoa powder
• ½ tsp. baking soda
• 1 cup canola oil
• ½ cup butter
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• ½ cup agave nectar
• 9 oz. bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 2 large eggs
• 1 ½ cups old fashioned oats

Sift together the flour, cocoa and baking soda.

Set a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water. Put the butter in the bowl; add the brown sugar, agave nectar and the chocolate. Melt on low heat, stirring occasionally until shiny and smooth.

Remove from the heat and whisk in the eggs, one at a time.  Follow this with the dry ingredients and the oats.  Place in the fridge for a few hours or overnight to get the mixture to firm up.  This will help reduce spreading in baking since the fat content is higher than normal.

When ready to bake preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Using a muffin scooper (for big cookie sandwiches!) scoop onto a lined baking sheet and bake for about 9-10 minutes.  Remove and let cool completely.

Ice Cream:

• 1 ½ cups heavy cream
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1 cup coffee beans
• 5 large egg yolks, whisked
• ½ cup brown sugar
• ¼ cup sugar
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp coffee extract (optional—to taste for desired strength of flavor)

Heat the milk and whisk in the sugar over medium-heat just until the mixture almost comes to a boil.  Reduce the heat and continue to whisk until the sugar is all dissolved.  Add in the whole coffee beans and remove from heat.  Let this sit for about 30 minutes and then strain.

Heat the cream until hot but not boiling; gently pour some of the heated milk onto the egg yolks whisking constantly to temper your eggs.  Pour back into the pan with the milk/coffee mixture and the warm cream.  Heat and stir for about 10 minutes.  The mixture should thicken until it coats the back of your spoon.  Remove from heat, add in the extracts and place in the fridge to chill for several hours up to overnight.

Prepare the ice cream according to your manufacturer’s conditions.